Deserts and Doubts

Deserts, not desserts!

Like everyone I know, my faith goes through desert patches, were it's hard to keep God as the focus, where it's hard to even remember him in my daily life. I know I should give him time, and even know as I write this, I know I should be spending time with him, rather than writing this.

But, sometimes life just gets in the way, coming home for me always presents a desert patch, but this one started even before I left York, my degree has been getting the priority for a while. Something I want to write on here, because sometimes it's all too easy to pretend that everything is fine. That there are no crack in our faith. But, so often there are, at least there are always some cracks in mine. So, here's to honestly with each other, because if we aren't honest with each other we won't be able to encourage one another in our journeys.

So, here's my encouragement to everyone. I'm currently in a desert place of my faith, I'm having doubts, BUT what I'm falling back on, is this.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

1 Corinthians 10:13

I find this encouraging, because it means God is with me, in the hard, lonely desert parts of my faith, and in the times I feel overflowing with his Spirit. And, he remains faithful to my, in my struggles, and through my struggles, through my perseverance I will grow stronger in my faith in him. If I was constantly overflowing with God's love, I wouldn't know how to stand on my own two feet. I wouldn't know how to relate to others in their times of struggle but most importantly, I wouldn't realise just how much I need God. Because right know, despite my doubts, I feel so far from God and I want to change that. I want to be close to him again, I want to feel his presence in my life. 

So, I'll leave you with;

"...we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

Romans 5: 3-4

God bless 

The Heart of Worship

I was sat listening to 'How he Loves' and it hit me, what differentiates worship from going to gig? I mean, in both you sing the lyrics, enjoy the music, but how is worship different? I know I often treat sung worship in the same attitude as I would a gig? I sing because I'm happy, I sing because it's what I want to do, and through that attitude I miss the point of sung worship. That it's purpose is to honour God. 

This made me think of the Matt Redman song; The Heart of Worship:

When the music fades

And all is stripped away

And I simple come

Longing just to bring

Something that's of worth

That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more than a song

For a song in itself

Is not what You have required

You search much deeper within

Through the ways things appear

Your looking into my heart.

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about You

All about You, Jesus

I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it

When it's all about You

It's all about You, Jesus. 

There is so much truth in that, God doesn't require a song, he required our hearts. And our hearts should desire him. We should worship God in ALL that we do, not in song, but in our work, in our resting, in all parts of our lives. But it's easy fall into the trap that we can not worship apart from in songs, but songs are just a way of remembering the greatness of God, and honouring him through that remembrance. They're not about singing but, remembering who God is, and what he has done for us, and worshiping him from the depths of our hearts. 

CHRISTmas: The beginning of the end.

Christmas, celebrates Jesus's birth. And Christians believe that:

• Jesus is fully God
• Jesus is also fully human
• and because of these two facts he is our salvation.

This 'plan' isn't something God just thought up before he sent Gabriel to see Mary, Jesus was the salvation plan from the very beginning. Just after Adam and Eve sinned against God, God punished them (leading to death, pain and suffering entering the world) but he also gave them (and us) hope.

"And I will put enmity

 between you [serpent] and the woman, [Eve]

 and between your offspring and hers; 

he will crush your head,

and you will strike his heel." 

 Genesis 3:15

Right from the beginning of time, God promised to send us someone who would save us from the Devil (the serpent) and the rest of the Old Testament shows God being faithful to his people (the Israelites) who constantly disobey him and reject him from their lives. But God keeps loving them, keep promising to send someone who will be able to save them from themselves. Who can save all of us from the voice inside our head that calls us to hurt one another, that tells us that money, or popularity or clothes will makes us feel better, the voice that taunts us when we're down, and tells us we're not worth anything. 

Jesus didn't come to Earth to make us feel insignificant, useless and unworthy, he came to Earth, to be born as a lowly carpenter in Nazareth, the place where no one of importance lived. And place he worked for 30 years of his life, before he started the final journey of his life, 3 years of teaching before he sacrificed himself on a cross so you and I could be free. He didn't come to judge, he came to save. He didn't come to reject but to show his love. And his by his death, he took all our sins onto himself, and then rose again, defeating death and crushing the serpents head, and by this action if you believe in him at the day of Judgement, Jesus will stand between you and God and say he died for you, and you too will be raised into everlasting life, into the relationship with God. Because, all God wants is for you to believe in him and have a relationship with him. He wants to save you, because he loves you. 

Living life as a Chameleon

Jackson: at the beginning

How often do you change who you are to fit the people you are with? It's so much easier, isn't it, to change your personality, just for a little while, to be cool, be liked, to be admired. And yet, we're not being true to ourselves. 

I'd like you to meet Jackson, and he's great at this. He moves into a new background and just changes to suit it, so much so if you look away, you can't recognise him, he's no longer what you expect him to be. 

Yes, you guessed it, Jackson was a chameleon we (briefly) had as a 'pet' in Uganda...until  we wandered off back into the bush. But, the point of this example remains the same, how often are we untrue to ourselves, our core beliefs just so we can fit in?

Jackson: just over 1 hour later (and a good few minutes of searching)

I know I'm prone to it. I tell myself that it's okay when someone jokes about my beliefs (I mean, they're only joking - right?) That I'm not hurt when someone insults my rather uncool interests, because, knitting doesn't really define me....

But, if I lie to others about the little things, get used to hiding the things I deem 'uncool' what is to stop the little things getting bigger and bigger and it leading to me hiding major parts of myself. How is that 'living'?

So, I ask you, do you agree with this quote, and if you do you need to change your life? 

 "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."

Andre Gide 

Prayer: just a list of 'me' requests?

Bear with me on this one. (Please)

So, over the weekend I ended up watching a load of Disney songs on youtube with my little sister and this one really hit home, so sit back, relax and watch it now :)

What stuck me as I watched this, is Esmeralda's prayer compared to the other character's portrayed. And I wondered, how often do I present to God a list of my requests, compared to how often do I intercede for others in my prayers?

I'm not saying that I shouldn't ask for things, The Lord's prayer is quite clear that I should. But, what I wonder is, how often do I pray for the other parts of The Lord's prayer? Because, it that's how Jesus told me to pray, surely I should pray into all parts of the prayer, rather than just my daily bread. How often do I praise God, how often do I ask for his will to be done on earth, for his Kingdom to come, for people to recognise that he is God?

Honestly, not as much as I'd like.

So, I challenge you, pray into The Lord's prayer as you read it, make it your prayer, rather than words that get repeated (mindlessly if your me.) Breathe your life into words that may have lost their meaning to you.

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

God, Dinosaurs and Kangaroos

It's safe to say that it was Charles Darwin's book, The Origin of Species, that started off the creationism vs evolution debate, a debate that continues today and will probably keep continuing, because let's be honest we're never really going to know the answers. 

So, why am I writing this, partly because I don't really know what I believe. I know staple facts. (And yes, I'd say that God created the world is a staple fact - at least to me) but the ins and outs of this creation, I don't know. I'm not totally against either idea, and I think they can both co-exist. 

I started to think about this whole issue yesterday after reading a slightly out of date news article on the Dawkins v Williams debate (click here to read it) and then later on (whilst procrastinating on facebook I found this graph, I have no idea if it's legit, but it got me thinking about what I believe and why.

Copied directly from: www.gallup.com/poll/155003/Hold-Creationist-View-Human-Origins.aspx

From these two bits of information, it got me thinking, that many people believe that theory of creationism, the theory of the big bang and then evolution aren't opposite theories, but one (the big bang theory then evolution) is just an explanation about how God created the world. And mean, God just states an order about how he created the world, which the evolution theory follows.

Many people have a problem with Dinosaurs not being mentioned in the bible, I don't, because lets be honest Kangaroos aren't mentioned either and I've seen and stroked one and I know for a fact they are real. As are bacteria, and yet again they aren't mentioned. So, I wondering, if God didn't mention them, does this argument really matter? I mean, I believe God created this world - it's too amazing not to have been created - but do I really need to know the ins and outs of how he created it? Probably not, I just need to admire his immense power and imagination in creating such an amazing world. Because, realistically, I'm never going to understand how he formed the world even if he sat me down and talked me through it. It's only ever going to blow my mind. 

So, what do YOU think?

Spiritual Pampering

Yesterday I helped out at a craft afternoon, where the students held a pamper room, and it's amazing just how a little bit of nail varnish can make you feel better - especially when someone else wants to paint your nails for you. (Sorry boys.) 

 So, as a little bit of nail varnish makes women (well me at least) feel better about my physical self, I thought I'd share a couple of bible verses that make me feel better about my whole self.

"Since you are precious and honoured in my sight,

and because I love you."

Isaiah 43:4

"For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,"

Psalm 139: 13-14

Too far to fall

As I cycled home from Uni, I decided the sensible way to cross the road to my house would be via the zebra  crossing. Unfortunately my bike decided to stay on the road and well, we both landed on the floor. As I got up, and did the embarrassed look around, I realised that it had been a long time since I had fallen over and a scene from 'The Duchess' came to mind.

After one of the Duchess's girls has fallen over, Lady Bess remarks: "Up and down, up and down. Why can't we recover like that?" To which Georgiana replies "It's too far to fall now."

And she's right, how often before we start something new do we consider the consequences rather than jumping straight in and risking failure - a fall? As a child I'd be eager to put my hand up and answer a question, more excited about being picked then whether I was right. But, now I have to know I'm right before I even consider answering. And I wonder, does this attitude of not wanting to take the risk affected my life in other ways, am I too afraid of falling to take the risk of ending in a better place?

I know it's true in my faith, I like the pattern of reading books I've read before, and know I agree with, I don't like to be too challenged in my faith. But, there have been times when I have been, like when I discovered the true value of the Holy Spirit and then God's grace, and I wouldn't turn the clock back on that change if I had the chance.

So, I ask you, what have you turned your back on because you're too afraid of the answer?
And if you have turned your back on something, is it something that other people value, like having a faith. And if you did, is it time to re-examine it? Find out why. Because somethings in life are too important to ignore, and I say religion is one of those things.

How much is £7?

Seems a daft question, but just how much is £7? I mean, if I went to a supermarket I could get a small shop for £7, or I could spend the money on a DVD or a book, or if I was really lucky it would pay for a meal out. But, £7 isn't that much, I mean I couldn't live off it. 

But, 80% of the world's population lives off £7 or less a day. How is that right? When I'm willing to spend £7 so easily, and yet for some people they have to live off it.

Don't believe me? 

Image taken from: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

It's crazy, but do you know the reason why? Because you and I are rich - we are in the richest 20% (at least) of the world population, and us rich people we account for 75& of the global income whilst the lowest 40% of the world population accounts for only 5%? 

Can't get your head round it? 

Here are some other horrifying facts:

• There are 2.2 billion children in the world of which 1.9 billion live in the developing world and 1 billion are in poverty. 
• The best way out of poverty is by getting an education, and yet 121 million children aren't in education.

And if that isn't bad enough:

• 640 million children are without adequate shelter,
• 400 million children have no access to safe water 
• 270 million children have no access to health services.
• and the worst roughly 29,000 children die every day.

And there was me thinking that a day in labs was bad, and yet I have been able to come home to clean water to make a pot of tea, biscuits to dunk in it and the chance to relax. I'm incredibly lucky to be doing a degree when so many children don't even get a basic education, and yet do I value my education as much as I should? Do I value the luxuries of my life or do I take them for granted constantly asking for more and more and not considering the consequences. The richer the rich will get, the poor will just get poorer. And yet isn't that what life is about? Building riches up on earth and not caring for others?

And if that really is what life is about, is that life you want?

I know I don't.

Please comment and/or discuss

And the facts were taken from this website and all seem legit, at least they have a huge pile of sources.

Christians: Holier than holy?

No.

But also yes, Christians are stereotypically seen as holier than holy. Ohh, and there is that well known fact that you can't be a Christian unless you live a perfect life and obey the bible to the t.

I mean, it even says to life like that in the bible:

"Anyone who claims to be intimate with God ought to live the same kind of live as Jesus lived." 

1 John 2:6 (The Message)

I tried that route, and I failed. Because I can't be perfect, not even close to it, and I imagine that no one else can either. But then I discovered what God's grace truely meant. Grace means that God has already forgiven me for what I have done and for what I will do. In fact, as long as I believe that Jesus died for my sins and rose again, so that I can join him in eternal life. I can't do anything so bad that God won't forgive.

Brilliantly, so Christians can live their lives exactly how they want, but we don't. We do try to follow what's written in the bible. Something we can't actually do, and doesn't matter because God will forgive when we slip up anyway. So why do we?

For me, and probably many others it's because of Jesus. I don't follow him because he is the King of Kings and Lord of Lord, I follow him because he loved me so much he died on a cross so I could live with him forever. So why wouldn't I want to walk life with him? I can't ask for a better friend. So I follow Jesus down the path he lived his life, because if I'm with my closest friend, why wouldn't I want to do what he wants? So me and Jesus we walk the narrow path together, sometimes I wander off track, sometimes a sit down and scream that's it's not fair. But whatever I do I know that when the going gets tough, he's going to be there to hold my hand, to carry me, to wipe my tears away when I mess up yet again. Because, I get to call Jesus, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords my friend and my brother and together we walk the path Jesus walked 2000 years ago. 

 Any comments welcome :)

A week as a veggie....

First off, it's day seven and I've failed to be a veggie (twice) although both times the meal was cooked for me so it seemed rude to refuse.

But overall it's not been too difficult, there have been moments when I've wanted to cook one thing but instead had to cook something else, but overall substituting meat for other forms of protein has been relatively simple.

So, why did I?

As most people who have lived with me know, I don't eat that much meat - so why did I go veggie for a week. Partly, because I like a challenge but more importantly I read an article which made me realise the negatives to eating meat. To summerise it, the amount of meat we eat in the western world isn't sustainable. It's adding to climate change and whilst people are staving we're feeding animals only to slaughter them a few years down the line. Which, through a scientists eyes is a definite net loss of energy.

So, why does this bother me?

As a christian I believe that we (as human beings) have a responsibility to look after the earth, God calls us to be stewards of his creating.

"let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

Genesis  1:26 

Therefore, if my actions are leading to climate change, how I can I claim that I am looking after God's creation? So, I need to change my lifestyle to properly care for God's creation.

It's now the 28th November, over a month since I went veggie, so what have I changed?

First things, I've cut down the amount of meat I eat, whilst that is partly due to the hectic lifestyle I have been living recently, it also has something to do with thinking about this. I managed to make a 2 meal amount of beef last 4 meals, just by cutting the meat really thinly. Whilst this is only a small action, if we all did it, we could easily reduce the amount of meat we eat. But, I will admit, I've not done half as well as I'd have liked to, so I'll re-consider my meals and try again! 

The value of water

Water: it's free right?

I mean, I pay a water bill but that's to make sure the water that comes out the tap is clean. But, water itself, that's free. It falls from the sky (a lot) and it's just there waiting to be used.

But is it really?

I've just returned from Uganda where I was working on a Water and Sanitation project. Whilst I was away I discovered that water really does have a value. For me, living in the UK I expect clean, drinkable water to come out of the tap whenever I want. But, for some of the members of the community I was working in water had a value.

Water meant a trip down a steep valley.

It meant climbing back up with a jerry can of water, either 5, 10, 15 or 20L. 

It meant being late and tired for school as many children collected water before school.

It meant having to collect water again in the evening.

It was limited. 20L isn't that much.

But most importantly, water means life. Without water we wouldn't survive.

And yet, water is something I take for granted. So far this morning I've:

- filled the bath with water to soak my clothes.

- used the washing machine.

- had a cuppa.

- had a shower.

- flushed the toilet.

- washed my hands.

- hand washed some more clothes.

And all without thinking. 

I'm pretty disgusted with myself, I thought after a month of valuing the importance of water, of collecting the water from the valley (to realised how hard it was) to having limited water to shower/wash in, I would remember it's importance. But I've not. 

Jesus says:

Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

John 4:13-14

And, like my ease of forgetting the importance of water, I also forget the importance of Jesus. Just because my life is currently full of water (yes, it's raining outside) doesn't mean I should forget water's value. But, more seriously, just because I feel okay, my life is going where I want it to, doesn't mean I should forget my Lord and my Saviour, my King and my friend, my support and my joy. And yet, I do. I forget that Jesus is everlasting life, that Jesus is who I should be worshipping in my every act, in my every thought, in my every breath. 

The Lost Hairbrush

I won't lie, it doesn't sound that exciting, but whilst cycling into town (after finding it) I was hit by a sudden realisation, which I thought I'd blog. 

So, a quick hairbrush summary, after returning from home to my student home I couldn't find my hairbrush, I searched my bag, but no luck. The result, I discovered combing my hair was a painful task.

Roughly six days later I rediscovered my hairbrush in my bag (which I had double/tripled check) my joy at finding it again was pretty huge. It sounds daft, but combing your hair is painful, so I was very glad to rediscover my hairbrush. 

So, what is the hairbrush's importance?

In the bible, Jesus tells this story: 

“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? ⁹ And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ ¹⁰ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Luke 15:8-10

I had lost my hairbrush (importance a lot lower than a silver coin) however, I was slightly saddened by my loss, and whilst I admit my search for it was pretty poor, I did have great joy upon discovering my rather old and manky hairbrush.

So, how would I have felt if I had lost something of great importance?

How does God feel when we turn back to him? 

A lot happier than I did I bet!

But, what hit me was, I had to search for my hairbrush, how often do I search for those who are calling out to be found by God? Not as often as I should.

On a more amusing note, it appears I am not the only one who laments the loss of a hairbrush: