Exam Stress | Exam Mess

Exam and deadline season is almost over and if you're anything like I was by this point you're probably tired, slightly brain dead and most definitely unenthused about the thought of spending another day studying. The end is in sight and whilst theoretically that should be a thought of delight, it is actually one of slight terror at the amount of work you still have to get through.

By the time you get home you don't really want to do anything other than collapse in a heap and just vegetate until you go to bed. When the alarm goes off in the morning, spending time with God is more of a motion than anything else. So here's a thought, ditch the bible reading when you've just woken up and take it with you! When you arrive in the library, spend you first chunk of time with God reading his word and praying for the day.

In the middle of the stress of the library (or wherever else you choose to study) invite the Prince of Peace himself to join you, in a place where it's easy to generate the idol of self-reliance turn to God and ask for his help. 

In Matthew 6:34, Jesus says:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So, focus on your day, trust God that he will see you through and maybe ask him for a reality check, because exam session always throws everything out of proportion. In the grand scheme of your life, your exams probably don't hold as much weight as you are currently giving them.

Here are two things to hold onto:

1. ​God is creator.
   Basic truth I know, but it means he created your degree and is the expert in the subject from the beginning of time, to the end. So why aren't you talking to him about it? 
   In case you need a reminder about how big our creator God is, give Job 38 a read
2. God is King
   God has already won the war and he isn't dependent on your degree mark. That may sound harsh, but he knows where you are headed next, yes it might be on a different path to where you think your going, but isn't better to stay in his plan than your own? And not only does he know where you're heading, he knows what you need to get there, and he'll make sure he provides it. So don't worry, give that to God and trust in his provision.
   (Also, this doesn't mean don't work, the Bible is pretty clear we should work hard, but that doesn't mean overwork or over-stress)

Finally, make sure you are resting, and resting well in God, even if that means listening to worship music rather than TV for an hour when you get home, make sure you are spending time with God in your downtime as well as your study time. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

Celebration of Singleness

In a world obsessed with relationships, it can be hard to be single, there seems to be no way of avoiding the world’s obsession either, almost all forms of entertainment; films, TV series, books, will have a relationship in it, regards of how central it is to the plotline. This leads us to believe the lie of society: being single is not okay. Yes, being is single is currently quite popular, but that is only because it allows a greater freedom in dating, people are still searching for a romantic relationship, they’re just not willing to commit, they want the physical intimacy without the vulnerability and potential pain of emotional involvement.

So, when I mean celebrating singleness, I mean celebrating being single with no dating, no searching for ‘The One’, no random hook-ups, I mean just enjoying being single.

Celebrating in your singleness is hard, because we’ve unconsciously taken on so many of the lies that society has taught us to believe without really considering them. Because we are constantly shown a glorified version of relationships (that they all lived happily ever after) we decided that the grass is greener on the other side, and don’t recognise we are lucky to be single and that there are advantages to it. But I admit, it’s hard, in a world where we wear glasses that look at the world through lens that say ‘relationships are right’ to see these advantages for what they are. In fact, when I struggle with my singleness, I see that sacrificing these advantage is a good deal in return to the advantages of a relationship.

But partly what I see as advantages of a relationship, aren’t actually an advantage, it’s a lie I’m believing. When I get in that place and ask myself ‘why is it that you think being in a relationship will solve how you are feeling’ I generally come up with three issues/lies I’m believing:

1) All the pain and brokenness in me will magically disappear in a relationship.

In a world when partners are called ‘your other half’ it’s not really a surprise that on a subconscious level we believe this. When dealing with low self-esteem it’s easy to think that you are incomplete by yourself, and that actually all that brokenness you feel inside would be sorted by being in a relationship. I’m not claiming to be an expert in relationships, but even I can tell you, two broken people don’t make a whole person. In fact, they make two broken people who now have to deal with their own and someone else’s brokenness (which may actually generate an increase in brokenness.)

Therefore, I actually need to start working on that brokenness within me, which so often leads me to point number two.

2) My identity is in my relationship status.

In celebrating singleness we need to break the lie that our identity is found in a romantic relationship, as a Christian I believe it is, but that relationship is with God, my Father, my Saviour, my Comforter, not man (and by that I mean humankind). My identity comes from who I am, who God says I am and not what the world says I am, or what ‘labels’ I have. My identity isn’t in my singleness, just as it isn’t in being a girlfriend. 

3) Loneliness being the product of singleness.

It’s not. Loneliness is the product of not investing in our friendships, yes sometimes when all our friends are in relationships, this makes this investment harder, but being in a relationship ourselves won’t solve that loneliness. In fact, several people have told me that being in a relationship was the loneliest time of their lives.

 

I’m not trying to say that being single is easy, it’s not, but don’t believe that being in a relationship is an easier. But, if don’t fight the lies you personally are believing about singleness and relationships you are never going to be able to enjoy being single. And that is a shame. If I don’t learn to embrace being single now, when it’s relatively easy, I’m going to spend the rest of my life searching for ‘the one’ always on the lookout for perfect relationship and being disappointed when no one can fulfil that. I need to embrace my singleness so I can walk away, unafraid of what the future might hold, if I can see a romantic relationship I’m in getting unhealthy or destructive. But most of all, I need to celebrate my singleness now so I can enjoy living in this moment rather than living in hope for a future which may never come.