Saturday 22 March 2014




A few weeks ago, I was watching Call the Midwife, and one of the main characters was dealing with grief. Another, minor character gave her this advice:

To just keep living, until one day she felt alive again.


This line really spoke to me. When I was dealing with depression, I never really felt alive, I just existed. I didn't feel anything, other than exhaustion and emptiness, and therefore I often felt like I couldn't cope. I felt that this was my new existence, and I didn't feel that it would get any better, in fact, I thought it would always just stay the same. It was awful, how could I say to someone that  I didn't feel alive? The fact you're talking to them clearly dismisses that fact. But, as I've learnt, living and feeling alive, are two separate things. 

Talking from the other end of the tunnel. It does get better, it's easy for me to say that, and I'll admit not every day is great. But, do keep living, because one day, I don't know when, you'll wake up and realise that the emptiness is fading, and the day doesn't look so bad. And then a while later you'll realise that you are are alive, and able to enjoy living life to the full again.

God bless,

Jess